Health & Parenting, Home & Happiness

August 26, 2016

Hopes and Dreams

I started a GoFundMe page as a way to raise money for my "Living Wishes." I wanted to go a little more in depth about some of the items on my list and why they mean so much to me. I also wanted to communicate with you more about the rewards and potentially exceeding my fundraising goal.

-Finishing my book

I've been writing a book now for a few years. It's a compilation of short stories, poems, health updates, photographs, and more.. I wanted to write something a little more personal than I've ever written and also have something physical to leave behind. The book is basically my life in a nutshell. I want the people around me to know more about who I am and I also really want to help people, especially other people or families affected by Cystic Fibrosis and even those who don't even know what cf is. In an ideal world I would love to give my family and extended family members each a personalized copy for free (preferably I'd like to be done with the book by Christmas, but I want to be happy with it before it's final.) I'm doing everything myself and using a self publisher so costs would go towards printing the books and potentially opening them up for sales later on. I'm almost done with the general writing but still need to incorporate the photos, etc.. and sync them into the book making app/order a proof/do some final editing before it's finished.

-Recording my first EP/Album

I've been dreaming about this since I was a little girl. I've written at least hundreds of songs and narrowed down a list of the ones that I think are good enough to be recorded. Recording is a process that I find extremely frustrating because I love it but at the same time when I hear my songs recorded they don't sound nearly as good as I want them to. I'm ready to put in the work and it would be helpful to have some guidance but recording professionally costs A LOT of money. Ideally, I'd love to have Jesse Barrera help me but I'm finally willing to record an acoustic album by myself. I've accepted that I'm probably not going to have the time or money to record the album of my dreams, but I really want to put out something that I'm proud of, even if it isn't perfect.. from the artwork to the lyrics book, to the tracklist.. etc., I've been immersed in the process and I'm really excited and beyond ready to make this a reality.

-Finding/Helping find a missing person

I'm interested in the lives and stories of missing people and their families and how I can help them. I can't understand how so many people simply "disappear" and are never heard from again and I can't imagine that ever happening to someone I know. I would love to help launch a project or program to get at least one recent missing person's story out there so we have the best chance at finding that person, whether it's having a face on a billboard or making bookmarks etc.. I would also love to join a team of investigators to learn firsthand about the process and any tips they might have for assisting in finding missing people. Around the holidays especially I can't imagine not knowing if a family member or friend is okay or even alive and I don't want these people to ever be forgotten, especially during a time that support and love is needed the most.

-Hanging out with Tori Kelly in a recording studio

Truthfully, I'm not 100% sure how to make this one happen. However, I do know that Tori and her family are nice people. I love that she's a female singer, producer, guitarist, etc.. she can do so many things by herself and I look to that so much in my own recording. I want to know more about how she got started and I want to learn from her myself how I can make my own music better and be a girl that can do it all because I think it's amazing and it's remarkable that she is so talented and knows so much about music at such a young age. I'm much more of a hands on learner so it's important for me to be in a setting where I can ask questions and see firsthand how things work. I'm fascinated and drawn to basically anything music, live music too and Tori does it all. I'm hoping that maybe she or her family will somehow see this and they'll want to hangout with me too.

-Spending my birthday by the ocean with my family

I've been lucky enough to go to Los Angeles, California twice now. I've missed it ever since and the ocean is something that brings me a lot of peace and just makes me forget everything that's going on in the world and in my life. I had this crazy dream about spending my birthday at a restaurant or place outside the ocean at night eating food and spending time with my family and I loved everything about it, so even though this is kind of a crazy one, I would love to do something like this.

-Family vacation to Mt. Rushmore

This trip is a little more affordable and within reach. My mom mentioned that she'd love to go to Mt. Rushmore and I've had aunts who have been there and seen The Black Hills and other places around the area. My dad is a big outdoors guy and we haven't had a real vacation as an entire family since 2010 which was my Make-a-Wish. We've never really all went together somewhere aside from that and I really want to do this and get updated pictures of us before I'm too sick to travel or enjoy it anymore.

-Charity work for a hospital

Living in hospitals has taught me a lot and shaped who I am today. More specifically, I got my first guitar from a hospital closet for free from a generous donor and since then it's basically made me everything I am. I would have probably given up if it weren't for music. It means so much to be able to say how you feel in the form of a song when you don't know how to say it in a conversation or don't know how to let people in. My guitar means everything to me and music is my escape. I would love to get an affordable but decent guitar for a girl or boy around age 16 (how old I was when I got mine) and give them the experience that guitar playing gave me. I taught myself but I'd love to help get them started so they can keep at it and see how much music can heal people and change lives. 

Also, I noticed that while some patients get visitors, some patients never get visitors and over the holidays a lot of the patients who don't have people come see them might feel sad or lonely. The kids get presents from child life and local donors but the adults don't often get anything. I think it would be nice to put together a few care packages of comfortable blankets, gift cards, and other affordable and small items. I've seen firsthand how this can help and I'd love to be able to personally help other children/adults.

-Going to The Ellen Show/Being a reindeer mascot for 12 days

This one makes me ridiculously excited. I've watched Ellen since the show first started and for awhile I would dvr every episode and only watch them in order every single day. If one got deleted I would be so upset. Ellen's show is different than the other shows out there and somehow she manages to make people laugh and smile and dance when they aren't feeling well or feel like giving up and I think that's awesome. Also, dancing in public kind of terrifies me but I know that if I were a mascot and my face were hidden I would have the time of my life. I can't imagine anything much cooler than being a dancing reindeer. Maybe I'm kind of a weirdo but I like it. I don't want the gifts, I literally just want to fulfill my wish of being a dancing reindeer on The Ellen Show. Only, I don't want to knock over a brand-new tv because that would be mildly terrifying and I would feel horrible. Can we please somehow make this a thing?


Yes, I am dying, as are you. Yet we are also living. My health is a fragile thing. I know my body and I know that as I'm getting older I'm getting sicker and it's becoming even harder to get better. And eventually I might not be able to get better. It's reality. And I'm okay with that. Regardless of my health, I want to chase my dreams but time is something limited and I don't want to waste anymore of mine. Why should any of us hold ourselves back from what we're capable of? From something as simple as liking a post or even just showing you're here.. it means so much. The support is everything going forward and I'm also determined to make things happen for myself.


The rewards are something I put together as a way to say thank you for contributing. I felt kind of silly asking people for their hard earned money without offering something in return (even if it's small.) The prices of rewards ended up being just as much as the donations, so I quit doing them after they were all sent out, but I promise you that I will keep you as updated as possible with text updates and photos of how everything is going.

Transplant and Charity:

Anything in excess of the goal will be used towards the insane double lung transplant costs (when that time comes) or if I'm not able to be a candidate they will go towards the charities I listed instead.

Thank you so much if you've read the update this far and thank you for donating and sharing. The support is awesome and I'm so excited to get started and finish some of these things and cross them off the list. I hope I can make some sort of an impact and maybe change some lives. Sharing is just as important as donating since networking could really help me reach some people who know more about how to help since I'm kind of new at this. It's awesome to know that there are people out there who care and want to join me on this mission so I just wanted to say thank you guys so much, let's do this life thing and chase some dreams.


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