Aiden Oliver was born early, two months to be exact. He decided he wanted to meet us before we were ready. He spent some time in the NICU learning how to be a baby and now he's ready to take on the world one bottle at a time. So what about us?
I expected being a parent to be exhausting. I thought we would never get any sleep and I would struggle to take care of our little guy. Let's be honest, I was pretty terrified that I wasn't going to be a good Mom and I thought Alex would have to do everything on his own. I've helped my friends babysit and it's hard work taking care of a tiny human, but I'm so in love with him that everything is simultaneously easier and way more difficult than I ever expected it to be.
We're two months in and I spent about a week with my new family before I got a cold and had to pack up and go to the hospital. I knew the time would come when I'd have to be hospitalized but I didn't know it would happen so soon. Alex is holding down the fort giving him all the love and cuddles he deserves while I'm cheering him on and counting down the days until I get to come home.
I thought babies were supposed to be warm and cuddly in between bouts of crying and pooping. Aiden struggled to adjust initially and had some tummy troubles. Bouts of crying turned into hours of screaming so we took our little guy to the doctor and they told us "he's still developing and he'll grow out of it." Not comforting words to us when all we wanted to do was help him. So we swaddled him, fed him, burped him, and loved him, but nothing seemed to help.
I thought we would get to cuddle and read books but I spent most of my time rubbing his tummy and trying to comfort him so he wouldn't scream. Bath time splashing is making sure his head stays above water and he doesn't flop over (wet babies are slippery and it freaks me out)! There are never enough clean bottles and pooping is a special occasion, meant to be celebrated!. The adorable clothes and endless amounts of equipment mean nothing if a baby isn't feeling well and only wants to be held.
Being a parent is hard in the sense that no matter how hard you try to be perfect, there will be things you can't control. You can't stay awake for eternity and listen to every little squeak or breath to make sure things are okay.
For me, the hardest thing has been trust. It's difficult to watch someone else take care of a human that we spent so long growing and bonding with. Alex tries really hard to make sure we're all okay, meanwhile he's trying to keep himself afloat and I'm left wishing I could do more.
It's difficult but it's all worth it when I get to stay awake to hold my baby and look at his face while he sleeps peacefully. It melts my heart. His smiles make me happy and I look forward to seeing him grow and teaching him everything he needs to know about life.
Neither of us could've prepared for what's only just begun. It seems like just the other day we were getting ready to meet him, now he's already two months old. Life happens fast, I'm just glad we get to spend it together.
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